Showing posts with label thought. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thought. Show all posts

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Susah kan nak senyum?

Assalamualaikum.

Hari ni hari Sabtu. Bangun-bangun je dah hujan. Tapi bukan hujan yang lebat tu. Kalau dalam bahasa Inggeris, drizzle. Aku suka hujan. Tapi masalahnya satu je. Kalau hujan, confirm-confirm lah mendung kan. Dan aku akan rasa gloomy. Pernah satu hari tu, sepanjang hari aku rasa gloomy. Semua sebab awal-awal pagi dah start hujan.


Tapi hari ni aku makin gloomy sebab semua orang pun takde, balik ke kampung halaman masing-masing. Yelah, cuti straight dari Jumaat - Rabu. Kitorang cuti jugak hari Isnin sebab Sultan Pahang punya birthday. Thank you Tuanku. Hehe. Selasa pulak, kitorang kawtim ah dengan lecturer so that boleh cuti jugak. Rakyat Malaysia, bersyukurlah sebab Malaysia ni banyak sangat cuti (dan menjadikan saya seorang yang malas).

Namun begitu, hari ni menjadi lebih gloomy apabila senyuman tak berbalas. Aku tak faham betul kenapa ada orang macam tu. Kalau sekali dua takpe, aku faham. Mungkin tak perasan or tak biasa bila orang yang tak dikenali senyum. Tapi, eh, c'mon lah. Kita duduk satu floor kot. Tiap-tiap hari aku nampak kau, kau nampak aku sidai bajulah, borak-boraklah. Apa susah sangat nak balas senyum orang?


Hari tu usrah, akak tu cakap, niat kita apa-apa pun mesti ikhlas kerana Allah. Kira kalau senyum pun niat kena keraan Allah. Nak tau kita ikhlas ke tak, kita tak kisah kalau tak dapat balasan. Oh, maksudnya aku tak ikhlas la senyum selama ni? Ni memang nak kena check balik -___-

Tapi aku sangat tak suka perasaan tu. Sebab aku takkan buat macam tu kat orang. Paling dahsyat pun, mungkin orang tu senyum pastu aku dah menoleh. Aku akan cepat-cepat pandang balik orang tu and senyum. Sebab aku tahu macammana perasaan bila kita senyum tak berbalas. Bagi aku, lebih baiklah senyum kat dinding yang kita dah tahu confirm-confirm takkan balas senyum kita. Nasib kaulah dinding, tak pasal-pasal jadi mangsa senyuman aku. And thank you jugak sebab memahami. Jangan kau senyum balik kat aku sudah.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Don't Say Goodbye


Title inspired by Davichi's Don't Say Goodbye

Dah lama tak tulis blog. I have so many ideas floating in my head but yet writing it down seems to be quite difficult despite the statement 'I love writing'. Dulu kat sekolah, when I had adik angkat (she is still one now ;)), I used to write a lot. Sampai her friends got jealous of how often she got notes from me.
I'm on my way back to Kuantan. Leaving home after 5 months bermanja-manja dengannya adalah sangat susah. Tu pun yokatta kak de wasn;t there to say goodbye on the moment I depart. I always cry when I say goodbye to her. Ok fine, emo? Haha. Yes I am. Shikata nainda yo. I don't know why, especially when we hug each other. Perghhh the feeling I can't describe. Sebak gila lah. Maybe because she's the 'nearest' to me. By age and by existence. We're 3 years apart but 6 years lagi lama kan? That's my distance with Adek. Fortunately she was hanging out with friend when I say bye-bye to home. So there was no shed of tears xD hahah. It's not that I don't love the other but, alaa biasalah kan. You will have your favourite sister or brother.



Cakap pasal bye-bye, ohh saikin I had experienced a great loss. A great one! I got a new netbook on my birthday, takdelah branded pun. Ma got it from a friend. Ma kata, “pulangkanlah laptop abang ngah tu.” I was dumbfounded. Like, WHAT? Mr D was like my heartthrob since I started university. How can I leave him just like that? Oh noes. I asked abang ngah to make it dual OS or whatever it is called since I can no more handle Windows. Ubuntu would be my perfect couple and it is the only way to mend my heart after Mr D left :P I tried my best to put our sweet memory together into rubbish bin. Transferred most of the files into my 250G Kerbau (it's my Buffalo). Sumbat-sumbat bagi muat. When I shut Mr D down, I felt as if my heart has a hole. Mr D is irreplaceable although he is not that cool, lame (as in old :P), poor (no webcam) and such. I felt like crying when I tell kak De after I let him down (shut down). She said, “nangislah selagi boleh nangis. Lagipun kita nangis untuk benda yang kita sayang. Pelik pulak kalau nangis untuk benda yang kita tak sayang.” I laughed when tears started to run down my cheeks.



Bapak ahh sedih gila kot. I'm sure Mr D rasa macam kena buang. Sorry Mr D. until we meet again :( I love you, I promise.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

See, told ya. It won't be updated selalu. Nevermind. Your own blog, your own diary lah kan? :)

Yesterday I went to One Utama with my sister and father. Kitorang nak cari present for mak since it was her birthday. Old wing mostly affected by the construction untuk upgrade apa tah. Kira Jusco memang takde ah except for supermarket dia. Even TGV pun takde for the time being. August 22nd nanti baru bukak semula (I think so). Okay, this is not the thing I wanted to talk about.

Jalan-jalan punya jalan, hampir satu OU kitorang pusing. Segala jenis kedai jam dah masuk. Daripada jam berharga RM100+ sampai ke RM27,000 dah tengok tapi tak jumpa jugak yang berkenan. Nasib baik la first-first tu dah check kat City Chain and ada lah yang macam okay. Jam tu brand Solvil et Titus, a Swiss brand. My father's opinion about watches, Swiss made is the best among others. Maybe sebab dorang yang first developed pasal jam kot.



And so, cerita jam tu kita tolak tepi dulu. Waktu on the way nak pergi City Chain semula, terserempak dengan sorang kakak yang jadik kawan waktu kerja dulu. Dia lambai-lambai. Stop kejap, tegur sapa. Dia cakap, tadi baru je aunty tanya pasal kamu. Ni dah jumpa pulak. Dia kata kalau nak cari orang baru susah, dorang belajar lambat. Kamu 2 hari dah tahu buat semua (Isk, exaggerate ni!) Sekarang ni tak cukup staff jadi tak menang tangan. Nanti lagilah, waktu Jusco yang baru nak bukak.

Heheh. Aku sengih-sengih. Lepas dah cakap apa-apa yang patut, kitorang bye-bye. Aku cakaplah, "Ceh, waktu kita ada dulu, semua benda kita buat tak betul. Semua salah. Semua nak kena marah. Haa, sekarang puji melangit!" Abah katalah, "Biasalah macam tu. Orang akan hargai kita bila kita tak ada." Oh yes. Aku setuju. Tapi dalam masa yang sama, benda tu buat aku fikir panjang. Aku hargai ke orang sekeliling aku? Nah, I have to check again.